


inside the box

by planetundersiege



Series: NEOKOSMOS Roleswap AU [2]
Category: NEOKOSMOS (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Child Abuse, Fear, Gen, Illustrated, Mental Abuse, Neokosmos - Freeform, Physical Abuse, Roleswap, Texting, feeling alone, test subjects
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-22 14:50:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21078605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/planetundersiege/pseuds/planetundersiege
Summary: You’re a damn test subject currently trying to fight off your tears, praying that they wouldn’t begin to run down your face right now.Why is that?Your doctor is screaming at you.





	inside the box

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, this is way darker than the little concept drabble I did months ago. Enjoy.

Your name is Xaveria.

You’re still stuck in the same room you’re pretty sure you were hatched in. You’ve never left it, there is no way you could. After all, the room with the lavender walls had no doors, just a teleport inaccessible to litans. You had to be a human to use one, a human with a brain computer, and as said before, you were neither. Your blueish gray scales that covered your whole body, your long snake like neck, your lack of ears, black eyes, backwards bending spine, your long four digit claws, three digit feet, blue blood, and long tail were all proof of that. You were no way near being close to a human. You didn’t even have hair, it was feathers.

But none of that matters now, because you’re a damn test subject currently trying to fight off your tears, praying that they wouldn’t begin to run down your face right now.

[](https://ibb.co/RHKJh7d)

Why is that?

Your doctor is screaming at you.

“How dare you ever even imply that we are equal?” Tye said with a cold voice, like always. It sent shivers down your spine. “You litans are dumb savages, you are literal animals without any type of intelligence!”

You had been asking for more math material, math was one of the things you absolutely loved, and as you grew, it also grew more advanced. You had said that you wanted the really thought stuff, the stuff humans solved, because you really wanted to learn and become as good as math as the humans were, so that you could learn together with them, as equals.

That had apparently been the most appalling thing you could have ever said to your doctor. As their screamed, you saw the fury in their eyes, a look that made your whole body freeze in place.

[](https://ibb.co/88sg7zB)

Your primal instincts told you to bare your teeth and show them your claws, but the fear of them overpowered the most ancient part of you and your ancestors. You were too shocked to anything, which was a good thing, because if they had kicked in, hell would have broken loose. And thankfully, the tears were still just in the corner of your eyes. Your doctor would only scream at you more if you cried, and also take away your texting privileges with Qurti and Zehra for atleast a week.

“I… I’m sorry.” you began, trying to carefully choose the words to not anger them any more. “I didn’t mean it like that. I… I know I’m not… a human. I just wa...want to learn math and… got too excited. I know… litans are no way as intelligent as… humans.”

Tye just looked at you with pure disgust, and then it turned into a taunting smile, where they bared all of their white teeth. It reminded you once again about the rules, not that you would ever forget them after every punishment. They were in charge, you were at their mercy.

[](https://imgbb.com/)

“Just because you’re such a pathetic creature, you will get no biojerky, no lunch for you, or dinner for the matter. That should teach you a lesson about speaking like that.” they said, their tone now quite and calm, but so cold. Their brown eyes stared into you. And as they finished, they turned around, and left.

You were alone.

You couldn’t be alone.

You ran up towards your computer and thought of who to text. Not Zehra, they wouldn’t want to listen to you venting, and you didn’t trust them with venting anyway, since you were pretty sure the two of you shared the same doctor but that they hid it, because there’s no way their doctor is actually named Zee.

So, the only logical choice was Qurti. You had never met them in person of course, since you have never left your room, and they had never left theirs, but, they were the closest thing you had to a friend. Yes, even more than Zehra, you really prefer them over the other litan. Though, you would never tell them that, when you only had the permission to talk to two people, you couldn’t risk losing one.

The moment they answered you released a breath you didn’t know you had been holding.

  
  
  
  


Xaveria: Qurti.  
Xaveria: Qurti please. My doctor did it again.  
Xaveria: I need to talk to someone.  
Qurti: Xaveria  
Qurti: Are you ok  
Xaveria: No  
Qurti: What did they do today  
Xaveria: I got really excited when I showed them my math project. I just wanted them to be proud of me, since they said that I would never get a hang of math or be able to finish it.  
Xaveria: So when I did, I asked for more advanced stuff, and said that I wanted to learn so much so that I would be equally as smart as humans.  
Qurti: Shit  
Xaveria: They got so angry, I was so scared. They took away lunch and dinner, and I’m already starving.  
Xaveria: And then they told me that I’m pathetic and inferior.  
Xaveria: It’s not fair! I never asked to be a litan! I never asked to be hatched into a test subject.  
Xaveria: I just wanna go out, I want to be equal. I want to learn math and science without being ridiculed every step of the way.  
Qurti: Xaveria   
Qurti: Im so sorry that your doctor is acting like a cloaca   
Qurti: Dont listen to them   
Qurti: Youre like the smartest person i know and youre so cool  
Xaveria: With you knowing the grand number of me and Zehra, that is not reassuring. Yes, I might be smart to you, but I’m clearly not smart at all.  
Xaveria: Not compared to a human, Tye says I’m on the intellectual level of a three year old human, and then they’re being generous.  
Xaveria: I’m starting to believe them. After all, we know nothing about our culture, AT ALL. No wonder we’re an extinct species, if we’re so dumb.  
Qurti: Bullshit  
Qurti: Theres no way a three year old human would be able to solve advanced equations  
Qurti: A litan maybe but thats because we nature much faster  
Qurti: Theyre just a jerk thats shitting on you to make you feel bad so dont listen to them  
Xaveria: I don’t know Qurti. What they say seems true.  
Xaveria: I wish I could have gotten your doctor as well. Iris seems way more awesome.  
Xaveria: Tye is ju

  
  
  


The computer shuts off.

An error message occurs when you try to send Qurti another message, a red one that takes up the entire screen, and you’re booted back to the start page of your computer. You log into the chat and send another message, to the same result. One after another, not a single one comes through.

You let out a scream of pure frustration before you throw it onto the ground, the tears were already running down your scaly face, and your tail wagged violently like if you were in danger.

[](https://ibb.co/tBZTWzV)

Of course, of fucking course.

Of course your doctor wouldn’t let you vent to Qurti, of course they wouldn’t let you talk shit about them. That’s why they cut off the communication. They knew you were hurting, they knew you felt scared and alone and needed someone to talk to.

So of course they would cut Qurti off like that, just to fuck with you. And if you asked, they would just give you that detestable smile and say that it was to not damage the testing protocol by not acting like an actual litan. Needing someone close was such an unlitan thing to do, litans were loners back before extinction.

But the difference was, those litans had a choice about being alone, and weren’t born into captivity. And they had the choice of doing whatever they wanted, litans were curious and wanted knowledge, they did not want to be lab rats confined to a single space without proper stimulation.

Oh, and they probably didn’t get their DNA tampered with, because like your doctor said, litans were loners. So why were you so  _ alone _ ? You had no proof, but what else could it be? It’s not that far fetched when your doctor’s favorite hobby was to fuck with you and make you as miserable as possible.

The tears streamed, and your clawed fingers began to pull your dark blue feathers, resulting in pain as you pulled some of them out from the roots. You didn’t care, this was too much.

Too much. This was too much.

You ran up towards your window that showed the the vast reaches of space, and let out a loud scream, before you punched it, only to feel the pain in your clawed fingers. Another reminder that it was impossible to escape this hellscape, this fucking box. You were here to stay, you were a labrat in a twisted experient that you knew nothing about. But you did know it deprived you of freedom, of happiness, and only fed you misery.

You wouldn’t be surprised if that was the actual test, see how much you can make a litan hate their life just for the fun of it.

Fuck this shit.

Again, and again you punched the glass, until your knuckles were sore and indigo blue, lacking several scales. You wish the window would break, if you got shot out into space, this would be over. But no, not even a dent.

[](https://imgbb.com/)

[](https://imgbb.com/)

You were still trapped, and there was nothing you could do. You bet your doctor smiled as they watched you through the invisible cameras you are sure your room must have.

So, you crawled onto your heated rock, clapped your hands to make your room dark, before curling up with your tail close to your chest.

Sleep was the only escape this prison had.

The only downside was that you eventually would had to wake up, and every time you slept, the next visit of your doctor grew closer.

You had always been terrified of them, for as long as you could remember. And for a good reason.

You remember when you were newly hatched, your doctor had been old, their face wrinkly and their hair gray. Then, one day they didn’t come to your checkup, you were alone for no reason. Days passed without a doctor's visit, your food had gotten teleported in, but that had been it. You wondered what you had done wrong that time, if you had accidentally broken one of the many rules your doctor had, but before told you about until it happened.

Then they were back as quickly as they had left, but… different. They were young again, with smooth skin, dark hair, and an even more cruel personality than before. A new body. And the first they had done was to scream at you when you had asked where they had been, and then when you curiously had asked why they weren’t old anymore, you had gotten a painful pull on your tail that had caused your eyes to water. Then you had been deprived of food for two days.

When you think back about it, it was obvious. They had gone to Earth, like a damn holiday. You wish you could have gone to Zolitanya, but nope. Your doctor said that planet was busted several times, always followed by a punishment from just asking about it.

You had learned to fear them even more and to never ask unnecessary questions for your own safety, and the anxiety of what they would do next always kept you on your talons.

You knew you would never be able to relax for the rest of your life.

Not if the rest of your life looked like this.


End file.
